I am ready.
Or am I? I am ready in that I want to meet my son - my last baby. I am ready in that I have gone crazy on stocking up on everything we need. I am ready in that my heart is full of joy and ready to hold and love on our new baby.
I am not ready.
I am anxious about my last c section. I am anxious in that I won't know who is doing it until the day I walk in to have it done. I am anxious that it is a resident (hopefully a seasoned one). I am anxious in that I am having my tubes removed. Not tied, REMOVED. I am anxious about pain management since anyone who knows me knows I HATE MEDICINE (for myself).
I am worried about adjusting all over. The last time I was a mom to a newborn was almost 7 years ago.
I am older. I got this.
This pregnancy has been a blessing. It has been hard but it has been good. God gives me nothing I can't handle. We had scares with possible heart defects - so far, (knock on wood), our little boy has passed these tests in utero.
My blood pressure has been all over the place, and just gets worse. I've been in and out of L&D multiple times as the doctors would send me to stabilize my blood pressures and stop contractions.
My kidneys are spilling protein.
My face is super swollen. My hands are so swollen they fall asleep for no good reason (pregnancy carpal tunnel). It's gotten so bad one of my hands will lock up and contort as if it were possessed. haha.
I go to a maternal fetal medicine doctor twice a week. Once for a bio physical profile, the next a non stress test. So far so good.
I can honestly say, I love my maternal fetal medicine doctor. She is everything a doctor SHOULD BE. My most recent blood pressure was 150/100 at my BPP. That's so scary to me, as it has never been so high - even with my past pregnancies and pre eclampsia. I was told they won't act until it's 160/100. I know full on well my former OB would have acted already staying so high at 37 weeks.
I trust God tough. I know he will see us through this. I know and feel I can survive the next two weeks until my c section.
I'm praying it goes with out incident.
The one plus side to so many MFM visits, is once in a blue they will surprise you with a 4D ultrasound. The techs don't realize just how much joy this brings to me. SO MUCH> Our baby is measuring large for his gestational age - 4 weeks ahead.
Look at those chubby cheekers:
Since my last blog, the kids had a shared birthday party (Since Ethan and this baby will be a day apart) at a bounce venue - it was great! I started painting the kids bathroom cabinets,I'll add before and afters in a separate blog. Easter came and went and of course CLEANING. So much cleaning.
Before:Builders grade oak
Primer 3 coats:
After a day between each primer coat and then letting it cure 7 days I started the gloss paint:
Coat 1. I will do 1-2 more waiting a day between coats and then add the nice knobs I purchased and finish up the rest of the bathroom:
Stephen has been busy working his butt off at the fire department and letting me stay home to raise the kids during the pregnancy - I am so thankful for that. I often catch myself missing my old house and area - but slowly we will make this newer house our home. Step by step. I loved redoing my old house, but a new house can have just as much charm. Until next time, friends :)