March 10th, 2015
When I saw her for the first time (which would be hours later) I was so in love, but so very tired. The nurses kept her away much of the night and I just wanted to go home. The first few sleepless nights were unlike anything I had ever experienced. How did I go from so much energy and working two full time jobs to suddenly being a stay at home mom with a newborn who was without a doubt the hardest new "job" to me? When I told my family I was okay - I lied - I was in tears daily. I was more in love than ever before and I would kill for my baby, but I was just so alone and exhausted.
We get so worried as new parents that we miss the joy in things. Is this perhaps me in the next ten years telling my current self, I'll be okay? Maybe. One things for certain - I am glad at 21, that I made the decision to keep the best thing that's ever happened to me. And by that last line, you may take that as you're probably thinking, and maybe at a later date, when my children are older, I will elaborate more without fear of them stumbling upon my blog. But just know this: God is good. God was with me, and God made sure I made the right decision. I love you MiMi, I am so blessed to be your mother!