spark people

I made one of my many resolutions (many, because I know I will break 80% of them) to lose weight.

(Yes, that photo of me is prior to Ethan).

Anyway, I have struggled with weight my ENTIRE life. I can only remember one time where I lost a massive amount of weight and that was in 2002, and I looked great for the first time in forever.

Then came kids, and depression, and unhealthy eating habits. And..
Well, this thing called excuses;)

I had joined spark people a year prior to Ethan and was doing okay with my weight, I had lost 25 lbs and people around me were starting to notice and comment. It felt so good, but then we had planned for Ethan and the rest was history.

So here I am AGAIN, on a mission to lose weight.

And, according to spark people, I have 50 to lose. YIKES. But, I knew full and well it had come down to that.

It's funny when people tend to think you can't have an addiction to food. And how people who have never been overweight can always mock those who are and tell them they are wrong and that they are just lazy. (True, sometimes I am). But for the most part for me, and what I came to realize was I did INDEED have an addiction to food. Some people have emotions they can't control and they turn to other addictions, sex, alcohol, pills, etc drugs. For me, it was food. I'd get upset, I'd love on a brownie.

I'd have no one to talk to? A piece of pizza was my best friend.

The irony behind it all was that the same thing I loved in my darkest hour, was the very reason I was so unhappy with myself.

Food addiction is a lose/lose situation. you need it to survive, you have to cook it for the kids and others, and so while others battling other addictions do not have to be around their addiction of choice, those of us with food issues DO.

So here I go again, battling the bulge but this time I am crossing my fingers that nothing gets in my way. I think emotion wise, I've hit rock bottom with all the chaos that surrounds me and I can't get any worse, so here I go, sticking to a diet.

It's not much but I'm down 10 lbs since Christmas already and that makes me feel tickled pink.

So, spark people...

50 to go?

Make that 40;)

Care to share your weight loss success stories?