I sincerely would like to know where time goes. When you're a child it passes so slowly. You're as a child wanting to be an adult, and once you're finally an adult you long for the care free overlooked childhood you once had.
Then when you have your first child, time seems to pass very slow during all those sleepless newborn nights. Then the first year comes, and the second. Before you know it you have two children.
When you have two children time passes even more quickly. You wonder where did this time escape to?
The moments spent cleaning, the moments spent complaining. the moments spent lecturing.
Suddenly you wake up as a parent and realize there needs to be a freeze button. The pause button, no fast forward, no rewinding.
You realize that When your first baby is almost done in Kindergarten the last 6 years have gone by and even though you (I) have been a fully devoted mom who never goes out, it's gone so fast for me.
You want to enjoy it more. You stop caring about the petty things. You want to live in each moment, do the things you dislike just for the sake of making your children smile.
After all, her smile is worth it, isn't it?
Today was her last grading period awards ceremony. Today I watched my little girl and it hit me, she's growing up. This year went by so fast. I can fetch every detail and it's crystal clear over the last few years, but it's still moving. It never stands still, and so for that very reason, we as parents need to grab our children and love them and tell them every single day they are the most important people to us.
I wonder if my mom looked at me how I look at my daughter.
You start motherhood as a young adult, and if you should be blessed to be an old lady in the end, you realize your lifes purpose has been to help another human being become something in life.
You want so much for them.
She's only in kindergarten. And I love her so much. I love both of my kids to pieces. I hope they know that, because I will remind them every single day for the rest of my life. I often catch myself in a moment of sheer joy wanting to shed a tear and I hold back. I imagine one day when I can no longer hold back my tears of joy and counted blessings and my children ask "mama what are you crying for", that I can say to them "because you make my life worth living".
Is kindergarten really almost over? Is the baby who I held in my arms as a 22 year old first time mom really growing every day? She is. And I want so much to protect her from the world and I know one day she will be older and want to do her own things. And so I am glad in moments like these, I realize that she will be my grown child one day and I have to love and seize these moments and make them linger as long as possible.
Today I am thankful. I am thankful for being. I am thankful to GOD for trusting me enough to give me two beautiful children. I am so blessed and I know I will never take that for granted.